Let's Talk About "The Change"
The Change is what the older generations called what we know today as anything related to Peri Menopause, Menopause, or Post-Menopause. I remember way back when I was 45 years old, lol! and I noticed, I was squinting to read things on the computer and I could no longer read the names on the bottom of my lipstick tubes. I did not want to hear that I now needed readers. I’d had 20/20 vision all my life, and now I was going to look like Mrs. Beasley at the library… No offense to librarians or Mrs. Beasley, lol~ That was the beginning of my relationship with Peri, and I had no idea, that we would be courting for 8 whole years.
After my “readers” discovery, seemingly overnight I became lactose intolerant. A short period later I began experiencing hot flashes / private summers, then night sweats. One day after walking up a flight of stairs, my knees felt like they were going to break, so welcome joint pain to the party! A few months after that, I had no idea why all of a sudden, in the middle of Arizona summer, I had freezing cold extremities, and the mood swings that came that I was in denial about, making me feel like I was a bit crazy, and anxious, going from extremely happy to angry to depressed all in a hot minute on any given day! The final frontier was debilitating abdominal pain that caused me to leave work headed straight to the doctor. My doctor at the time chuckled and said, “those are just cramps.” Well I’d never had a cramp a day in my entire period life, and after experiencing that, I repented and thanked God profusely for sparing me all those years. Nor had I had headaches often, but guess what? I was now dealing with frequent headaches, but almost every day when I was on what was left of my cycle. This is when I was first introduced to “Peri Menopause”. I was informed that one of Peri’s symptoms, is that you may start having period symptoms you never had before. Oh, great, fun times! No!!! I was three years in at this point, finally learning that what I thought was just normal “aging woman” stuff, with certain body functions preparing to shut down permanently, was really Miss Peri coming for me! Sidenote: A few years ago in this post… Settling Into My 60’s, I’d made up my mind that “the changes” I’d experienced were just going to be a part of my life for the foreseeable future and I was going to learn to accept them as such. But since then, I’ve learned I can do something about them to have a better quality of life. Knowledge is definitely power.
For 8 years I was in a tumultuous situation-ship with Peri. While I never knew anything about Peri Menopause, I did know that when you go 12 months with no cycle, you are officially out of Menopause. So imagine my glee begin to rev up when month-after-month, I was not having a cycle; month 6, 7, 8, 9, no cycle. And all the way up to month 11, only to have it show up in month 12, like: “Psych! You thought I was gone!” I was deflated to say the least. Now imagine that happening TWICE. Yeah, two years in a row! Where I went 11 months with nothing happening, only for Aunt Flo to show up in the 12th month. The third time’s the charm so they say, but I wasn’t hopeful at all. I waited until that 12th month was long gone before I celebrated. Yay?! Um no, not so fast. I thought everything would go back to my Pre-Peri days and we’d just part ways. Nope. That’s not how it works. It took me a few years to realize that though.
A few years being “out of menopause”, I developed sleep issues, and was gaining stubborn belly fat and weight in general that I couldn’t get rid of no matter how or what I tried. I was tired all the time, my anxiety heightened, and the forgetfulness… geesh! What in the you-know-what was all this?! Not only were things not returning to normal, as in the way they were pre-Peri, it seemed it was getting worse. Since my mom lived through this, I figured I’d ask her about her experience. To my surprise she’d never met Peri and didn’t recall anything close to what I was talking about. But I think she must’ve been suffering from PTSD behind it, so even though she was no help at all, I gave her a pass. I asked a few other older women who were in my life, and they just said: “You just going through the change, baby.” But one of my Aunts told me something closer to the truth; that my menopausal symptoms would remain for the rest of my life. Picture for a moment if you will, the horror on my face upon hearing that… But it was true. I remember being so tender-headed at the hairdresser’s sometimes, and my stylist would say: “Are you on your cycle?” To which I’d answer: “No. I’ve been done with all that for years.” And she reiterated something that corroborated what my Aunt had said: “Well, it’s probably that time of month where you would be on your cycle if you were still having one.” (Deep sigh) Are you kidding me? And why hadn’t any doctor I’d been to ever tell me about any of this? Except that first one who only gave me a glimpse into one symptom! It made me so upset, and it didn’t help that my symptoms were escalating. The most problematic for me was that I was only averaging 3-4 hours a sleep at night, AND… the most mentally traumatic for me was that I’d morphed into a Teletubby…
Nothing I did to get the weight under control worked. I even stopped eating altogether. Yep, I sure did. Just smoothie packets and water for about 45 days. And I lost maybe 3 or 4 pounds but that was it. I hadn’t changed anything in my lifestyle; I ate the same foods which were pretty healthy, and I still worked out daily. But I was very round ya’ll, and this is when I began living in Spanx.
Ok, soooo the sleep deprivation… Because of it, I was always tired, I was forgetting things, moody, and couldn’t focus. AND, wait there’s more… My skin was raging with acne at my jawline on both sides, worse than I ever experienced as a teenager. This was January of 2024 and I was absolutely miserable. I couldn’t fathom that this was going to be my life going forward. I felt so hopeless and it wasn’t until I saw the first Oprah special on menopause that I began to get hope. Here’s a clip. I’d heard of Hormone Replacement Therapy, but it was all outdated and incorrect information, so I’d always rejected it as a solution. After watching this special, I did a little research and began looking for holistic hormone doctors. After trying one facility claiming to be specialists, then finding that they weren’t, I found someone who knew what they were talking about; someone I could trust, and I began my journey back to a new normal. Her name is Kris Adair, and I call her my Hormone Angel, lol! You can learn more about her HERE. I learned (and I’m still learning) so much about what I was going through. Since starting with her almost two years ago, I’ve seen significant changes. I’m on what feels like every supplement known to man; each one targeting a specific symptom, and I’m on a yam cream formulated to target my estrogen, progesterone and testosterone imbalances. Since starting my journey with Kris, things have come under control. I’m still working on the chronic insomnia, but overall, everything is a whole lot better than it was!
Since then, there’s been another Oprah menopause special which provided a wealth of information to dive into, and you can find that as an Oprah Insider on her website, or on Hulu. On this journey I’ve learned that there are more than 60 menopausal symptoms that can be experienced; that a woman’s ovaries begin to decrease egg production as early as 35, and Peri can come knocking any time after that. I’ve learned that hormonal treatment for women of color is different sometimes due to genetic variations, symptom experience, conscious or unconscious physician biases, and cultural perspectives; that with regards to hormonal replacements, you get to where you need to be through trial and error, adjusting dosages until you achieve whatever the goal is. I’ve also learned that all of these symptoms can shift at any time. For instance, through no real effort of my own, I’ve shed 20 pounds and no longer look like I’m 5-months pregnant, lol! I’ve learned that access to information and being aware is half the battle, which leads me to this stunning and surprising revelation… that doctors only receive a few hours training on menopause, including those in residency to be OB/GYNs. Like, there’s no dedicated Menopause curriculum…. WHAAT?! This is mind-boggling to me. So after the birthing years, our health really doesn’t matter in the medical world. I’ll stop here because that’s a whole other topic, and you can watch and listen to what Miss Halle Berry so eloquently shares on that HERE. She gets an “AMEN” from me!
These days I’m making the most of my post-menopausal life; trying to learn as much as I can, and trying new food and new products that help with symptoms or provide an overall better quality of life. I’m intentional about making this time, the best time of my life!
